#but i don't have time or energy to write anything beyond this

[kenjakusbraincum]

can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..🥺

You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though 👍 Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Vows

Sukuna x Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)

It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.

You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?

Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.

And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.

So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.

When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.

''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.

''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?

''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.

''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.

But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.

You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''

''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.

''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.

That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.

Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.

It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.

You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.

Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.

''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.

''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.

"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.

Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.

You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.

You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.

"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.

You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.

-

You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.

He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.

"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.

Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"

There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.

"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."

You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.

"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."

You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.

He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?

Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.

-

Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.

He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.

He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.

He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.

You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.

You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''

''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?

''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...

''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''

You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.

Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.

You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.

Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.

''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.

''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.

Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.

Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''

You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.

-

You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.

And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.

He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.

You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.

When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.

He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.

You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.

''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.

He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.

"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."

Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.

The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.

Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.

And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.

Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.

Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.

The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.

Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.

[created-system-hub]

How the heck do I make a system? A brief introduction

This guide includes brief mentions of suicide and brief descriptions of abuse.

Hi there! My name is Arthur, and I'm a tulpa of the Fluffy Crew. If you're here, I'm assuming you're a singlet who doesn't know much about system creation (but has interacted with the plural community), and wants to intentionally create fully separate headmates. If you're not that, you're welcome here too, but I'm writing with that audience in mind. This will be a long one, so everything else is under the cut.

First, I want you to ask yourself, am I ready to make a system? Becoming a system is a big decision. You are going to be sharing your mind, including the most intimate and private parts, with other people 24/7, for the rest of your life. You will have to give up some of your time and energy to the rest of your system, and more than some if you plan on having them interact with the outside world at all. If you consider all of that and you decide being a system isn't something you want, that's okay. This is a deeply personal decision, and nothing you should be forced into. I highly recommend waiting until adulthood before making this decision, but I also can't exactly stop you.

(suicide and abuse mention in this paragraph) Second, I want you to ask yourself, WHY do I want to be a system? Is it something selfish? Is it going to hurt myself or my headmates? All reasons are going to be a little selfish, and that's okay. But consider what your goals are. Do you want a friend? Do you want to know if this is even real? Do you have an interest in mind hacking and find this really cool? These are "selfish" reasons, but they aren't malicious. When you cross the line into goals that hurt one of you that's the trouble spot. A lot of people want to become plural and switch because they're overwhelmed with the world and want escapism. Others want to force their headmates to fill specific roles, such as being a partner or their favorite character. I've heard of too many systems where the host destroys their own personality and leaves their created headmate alone as an alternative to suicide. Your headmate is a conscious person who can be hurt just like you. If you can't act like a responsible person who can respect and cooperate with their headmates as equals, I suggest not becoming a system until you can.

But let's say you decide that, yep. You 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, want to be a system, and you're not doing it to have a brain slave or to withdraw from the world. Do you have someone already in mind? A base can definitely help your mind latch on, but it isn't necessary. A base can be anything from a whole character, to a few personality traits in a list, to just a name and gender. Keep in mind, your headmate will likely diverge from this. A good host encourages this, nurturing a headmate's self-expression.

Speaking of being a good host, there is a certain mindset you should keep in mind. You are here to nurture and help your created headmates grow. You're going to have to be gentle with your mental presence sometimes, especially in the beginning where your personality can accidentally easily dominate. But don't feel like you have to lesser yourself to greater your headmates. You can all grow and become greater together.

Now, we are going to focus and form ONE headmate. For the love of god, do not do what we did and create four at once. Its overwhelming and leads to a lot of guilt over not spending enough time with everyone, speaking from experience. If you are starting with a base, dedicate any traits and visuals to memory. If you aren't, it may help to create a simple visual form to focus on when interacting with them. In tulpamancy, a ball of light is a traditional choice, but you can choose anything you can think of. Visual forms are not necessary for creation, but many enjoy the ability to visualize them and interact in headspace. Headspace creation will not be gone over here.

In my opinion, the best way to start is an introduction. Feel the space in your mind where they are, or at least try to. You are going to direct your thoughts to this space, your headmate. If they have a visual form, visualize it as vividly as you can. Introduce yourself to them, and explain your intention of creating a system. Explain that they are a headmate of yours, and the form you are visualizing is theirs to control. If they have a base, explain who they are and tell them that they are that base, though they are free to change it. Invite them to respond back, and keep an open mind.

Try to spend time with your headmate every day, as much as you can. You are having to build the mental connections that form your headmate by hand, and that takes a LOT of repetition. Spending time with them could be a lot of things. It could be speaking with them as you go about your day, immersing yourself in headspace with them, working on a new system skill, playing a game together, or just hanging out. Try to be varied in the type of interaction you do.

Eventually, you will start getting responses. These probably won't be words at first. More likely, they'll be an emotional response that feels "alien" and "not you", a sense of pressure in your head, or a raw thought or feeling that isnt yours. It can be difficult to hear their responses, especially if you have a busy mind. You have to try not to block out their thoughts from appearing, as especially in the beginning that's easy to do. Their responses may sound like you at first, but that will get better with time and practicing separation.

Now, there isnt exactly one way to form a headmate, and you should experiment on your own to find what works best for you and your system. We theorize the most basic mechanism for created plurality is your brain being allowed to think as someone who isn't the host, over and over, until it happens subconsciously. The difference between a headmate and an imaginary friend or character is autonomy. Wren used to daydream constantly but it didn't lead to a system because they didn't allow their characters any freedom of thought. It was all very much puppeteering. When they started roleplaying, they allowed the characters to "think" on their own, imagining what their emotions and thoughts would be, separate from theirs. This eventually caused me and the other original three to start forming, due to that freedom of thought. Anything that allows your headmate to gain that autonomous thought is just as valid as any other method.

How long development could take varies a lot. Some people are more predisposed to be plural, and become a system easier and quicker than others. Some people have a really hard time becoming plural, and it takes a lot more effort and time to become a system. Singlets who already talk to themselves, have dissociative tendencies, are easily hypnotized, and are creative storytellers tend to have a high disposition for being plural. It could take as short as a week, or as long as years. Average times are around 3-6 months with dedicated work. It took us 18 months to feel confident in saying we were a fully realized system, but we also struggled with motivation and dedication.

The most common system goal is to have fully-realized independent headmates who can operate without their host's help and do not fade without interaction. The best way to get to this stage is just time. Keep spending time with them and living your life together. Treat them as independent, and they will become independent quicker. Your expectations shape a lot of your experiences when it comes to system creation.

I'm not going to cover any more advanced techniques like switching or headspace creation in this guide, as this is meant to be a jumping-off point for beginners. This is our first attempt at a guide and would love to improve. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to reach out!

Have a wonderful day, and I wish you the best of luck on your system journey!

[sag-dab-sar]

Hellenic Polytheist Reconstructionists

Am I a reconstructionist? No. And I do think there is a difference between Recon and Revival.

Here is my feeling of difference, some are absolutely going to disagree with this but its my perspective:

"Polytheist Reconstructionism & Revivalism is the worship of a pantheon of Gods heavily influenced by the original religion that worshipped them. It is not a claim of continuity with that religion, or a desire to reinstate the ancient culture & its morals/laws. Reconstructionism attempts to be as close as possible to actual ancient practice without forgoing modern morals. While Revivalism attempts to remain close to the meaning of the ancient practice— allowing for heavy modern adaptations while still fulfilling the ancient practice purpose."

My entire practice has to be modified for my disability, I had dreams of recon but the methods I can't preform.

My zero spoon praxis is all modern:

My method of low spoon / no spoon libations is entirely modern and not at all how the ancient people would do it. Purpose: Doing libations is better than not doing them.

The idea of just invoking them. Saying "Hygeia" before a shower. Saying Theoi's names before a sip or bite to make it an offering. Etc. Purpose: Again literally anything is better than nothing.

Watching TV "with" the Gods (no I don't believe they're sitting next to me or anything). Purpose: keep the Gods in my life and mind, as they were ever present for the ancient people.

Defining "purity" as being clean with the clear ability to focus on the Gods even if in PJs. Definitely not ancient standard. I'd worship if sick if I can get all the symptoms under control (like cough medicine for example), have clean clothes, wash hands and face, focus. I'd worship on a period so long as I was clean and could focus. Etc. Purpose: while it is not the ancient standard of purity, purity is important so I had to have some sort of bench mark (its even more important in Sumerian but thats outside scope of post)

New Festivals (I usually write low spoon versions). I'm trying out some ancient ones but I find them hard to connect to (or at least don't have energy yet to appreciate them), I make my own right now. Purpose: The ancient people really liked festivals

I could go on, point is adapting ancient practices to make an attempt to meet the purpose is my goal. I'm not focused necessarily on using the ancient methods (well not yet I take things as my disability allows)

But without reconstructionists (many of whom are classicists) I would not know:

Miasma vs lyma. And this is important because I had met people who head veiled specifically to protect themselves from miasma because they thought it was that common and bad

Different methods of purity: just washing hands face; barley throwing; fire extinguished in water; few others

How to structure ancient prayers if you want to write them in that way. And how it is interwoven with Kharis.

Literally any ancient Hellenic Festival outside the book by Labrys (and I suppose Kosmos but I don't trust the author)

Debunks of modern Hellenic Polytheist things people are claiming are ancient when they are modern

Anything that requires translation from ancient Greek to explain the concept because either no English language translation exists or more often the English translation leaves out significant valuable information for religious practice.

Explanations of ancient texts and their context

Epithet explanations

Explanations of various Theoi beyond the "God of ___" one finds in website info blurbs

Ancient Greek Calendars

Book resource recommendations and often free access.

Website resources recommendations.

Journal articles & authors recommendations

If I didn't know the ancient standards and methods I would not be able to adapt anything at all and meet the "purpose"

........ literally being able to ask questions from people who have actual knowledge of the ancient religion and are willing to take time out of their day to answer

Reconstructionists do so much damn leg work in Hellenic Polytheism. So much. And so many people seem to refuse to acknowledge that. We take it all but never appreciate their approach. And many reconstructionists have been run off this website for no good reason.

I have seen a grand total of one person claiming to be recon who disparaged non-reconstructionists, and he was a xenophobic douche regardless. Beyond that I haven't had any recon disparage revivalism [edit: as in disparage the fact that it exists or claim its not Hellenic Polytheism]. Correction on information =/= hate. Pointing out something is modern =/= hate. Having different opinions =/= hate.

So to all the Hellenic Polytheist Reconstructionists: Thank you.

-dyslexic not audio proof read-

[qiu-yan]

avoidance

if i had been in jiang cheng's position immediately after the fall of lotus pier, i probably would not have tried to strangle wei wuxian.

i don't like dealing with negative emotions, so instead i'd probably say some bullshit like "whaaat? no, it's not your fault and i don't blame you at all, so don't worry about it," and then just put all my energy towards trying to survive. except i would blame wei wuxian. i would very much blame him, from the depths of my soul. even if i tried my hardest to convince myself not to blame him, that i should not blame him, that i do not want to blame him - nonetheless, my subconscious would remain convinced that, were it not for him, my family and everyone i grew up with would still be alive.

and, because of that resentment, i would begin to pull away from him.

i would not save wei wuxian from that wen patrol. even if i did love that deeply, my resentment would still blunt my reaction time and i would not be able to act in time. for the sake of convenience, let's say that wen ning rescues wei wuxian from lotus pier anyways. wei wuxian lives. what happens then? on one hand, i still resent him for causing the deaths of all my family; on the other hand, though, now i also feel guilty for allowing him to be captured and tortured simply because i would not die in his place. how do i deal with these complicated emotions - these unsightly, ugly emotions? i don't. i bury them and pretend they don't exist, because running away from difficult feelings is how i've always lived my life - i run away from him, because whenever i see him, this twinned of resentment and guilt rear their ugly heads again.

thus, because of my emotional unavailability, the relationship tanks. maybe wei wuxian gets his core melted, somehow picks up demonic cultivation anyways, and is thus pulling away from me as well; maybe the avoidance comes from both ends. and if wei wuxian instead notices that something is wrong and starts pestering me about what's wrong - well, i have full faith in my ability to deflect. i am long-practiced in diverting the focus of a conversation specifically to imply that the other party's concern isn't welcome.

thus, by the time the sunshot campaign ends, our relationship would have severely deteriorated. and then, because of this, i would take wei wuxian leaving our sect to protect the wen remnants as the actual end of our bond. unlike jiang cheng, i would not even argue against wei wuxian's leaving, nor say things as sentimental as "if you insist on protecting them, then i cannot protect you" - instead, i'd simply write off our relationship as doomed and sever it peacefully.

after all, he owes me nothing. i am entitled to neither his labor nor his presence. if he wishes to leave, then he is free to go; if he wishes to no longer be family, the i will no longer think of him as so. in fact, the less familiarly i think of him, the better: it is at once much easier and much more comfortable for me to believe, in a post-hoc sense, that someone who has left me actually never wanted to be with me to begin with, and i therefore have not lost anything of value at all. and this loss would not hurt me as much as it hurt jiang cheng in canon. after all, i, unlike jiang cheng, am a veteran at avoiding all thought on topics that distress me; instead, i'd soon find something new and exciting with which to distract myself.

i would not visit wei wuxian in the burial mounds. if jiang yanli insisted on seeing him, perhaps i would accompany her there, but i would not make any conversation with him myself beyond what is absolutely necessary. i would consider the death of jin zixuan unforgivable. i would consider the death of jiang yanli unforgivable. but perhaps i would not feel as wretchedly betrayed as jiang cheng does in canon: after all, i in this scenario, unlike jiang cheng, have already given up on wei wuxian a long time ago.

i would probably lead the first siege of the burial mounds. i would not hold the same level of animosity against the wens as jiang cheng does in canon - in general, while i can hold onto subconscious resentment for a long time, actively clinging onto seething hatred for extended periods of time is difficult for me. perhaps i'd even speak up more for the wen remnants, out of purely some abstract moral concern for the wellbeing of POWs; however, i'd stand down the moment any of said speech put my own people in danger. perhaps i'd lead the first siege of the burial mounds because it is expected of me. or perhaps i'd genuinely want the man who hurt my sister to die.

either way, if i then encountered wei wuxian in the burial mounds battlefield, i would actually kill him. it would be easy for me to do so.

---

as you might have guessed, the "i" in this passage is not actually me (yanyan) from real life. if it were Me In Real Life in jiang cheng's position i would probably just die.

instead, the "i" in thjis passage is a different MDZS character. prize for you (bragging rights) if you can guess who it is!!!!!

[saintshigaraki]

please, if you have the time and/or are feeling generous, please expand on that horror soulmate ran idea where he likes flexing his influence and power over you while you’re on shift….what kind of restaurant does reader work at? is the high-end kind where customers who look as rich and charming as ran come often…..or is it some regular diner/local favorite and ran likes coming over to call you sweetheart and darling and he likes tipping you $50-$100 bills………………………..he tips bigger and orders so much when he brings some work associates over during their lunch break or something 0_0

dior im so glad you ask bc I've been ruminating over these very questions for like a month....

yandere tw, ran is harassing the shit out of you at work rip, soulmate au, she/her pronouns for reader

i think you work at a really small rundown sort of place open 24 hours. pulling 12-hour shifts 12 days in a row just to pay the bills. it's pure and total chance that ran and his...associates waltz into your establishment. it's late and you're so so exhausted. you absolutely do not like the look of them. they're dressed nicely, too nicely for a place like this and they don't even bother trying to hide the guns peaking out from their waistbands. and beyond that you can smell it on them. you know their type. the type that get too handsy, that hold their tips over your head. make you do a song and dance and for what? the two dollars they'll so generously leave you when all is said and done? it's a fucking joke and you hate them all before they've even said a word to you.

your feet hurt so badly that you're limping a bit when you go to greet them and the smile you put on feels carved into your cheeks, throbbing like a wound. all their faces look the same to you. a big blur of dangerous man after man after man. you write down their orders without really listening. you want this over as fast as possible. you were set to be off in an hour, but with a group this big, you know that's now nothing but a pipe dream. god you're so so tired--

"and what is it you'd recommend, darling?"

something about the voice makes your eyes shoot up. airy, smooth, and nonchalant in a way that makes you grind your teeth and reluctantly pulls your attention. there's a nauseating sort of authority in it that has your hackles raised.

you're a bit shocked when you see who has spoken. he's pretty. long hair, obviously well kept, a tattoo on the side of his neck that makes you rather nervous, but it's his eyes that makes you step back. you feel the shift in the air when your gaze meets his, a crackling energy, two halves being made whole and all the other sappy shit people say when describing their first meeting with their soulmate.

no one mentions how scary it is, though. it's like you've lost a limb. or gained a parasite. you swear you can feel him in the back of your skull, already eating away at you. you don't want this. you don't want this. take it back you almost say aloud. please please take it back.

the man (your soulmate?) doesn't say a word. there's a slight quirk on his lips, but that could be anything. could mean anything.

you take a breath. you're tired—very tired—and now you're imagining things—delusional. your heartbeat slows. everything's fine. it's fine.

"ah ran, you've left the poor thing starstruck," a man to his right says, jostling him a bit.

the man—ran—tilts his head, still waiting, rather patiently, for a reply from his apparently airheaded waitress, struck down by his pretty face.

it's rather scary, being the sole focus of his attention. it's as though he's flaying your skin from your flesh, leaving you defenseless. like you're nothing but a young girl again, alone and cold and hopeless beneath his eyes.

it takes you too long to gather your wits. "the omelets are okay, good for a cold night." you just barely manage to keep the trembling from your voice, a shrillness that would in any way reveal your fear.

he smiles now, a real one. and it scares you. so amused by you, his little shaking waitress. "just okay?" he asks, taking pleasure in teasing you no doubt.

"this isn't a place you come to if you're looking for something gourmet." better to be honest than to get their hopes up. you can smell the money on them.

he laughs and you have to bite back your tears, you really dont like him. there's terror worming it's way beneath your skin. "it was a last resort, i'll go with the omelet, darling."

+

when you bring out their food you assume that will be it, at least for a little while. you'll refill their drinks again and again and again and pray they'll be gone by 2, but the worst of it is done. you'll hide in the back for the most part until they're gone. it'll be fine.

your hopes are quite quickly dashed once you set ran's food in front of him, avoiding eye contact but unable to keep the tremor from your fingers. before you can dart away his hand lashes out, forming a shackle around your wrist. tugging you far closer to him than you'd ever want to be. 

"why don't you join us for a bit. you seem tired. perhaps you're a bit hungry too?" he asks it like a question, but you know it's not. he has that sort of authority about him that lets you know he's used to be listened to. used to giving out orders and having them followed. you don't like it, and you make excuses even though you know it'll bode badly for you.

"i can't sir, i'm so sorry, but im still working and my boss will be--"

he cuts you off quickly and uncaring. "he won't mind."

he most definitely would, you think. your boss reminds you of ran a bit, in the way that he likes to exert power over others. quick to insult you, quick to admonish and threaten. he most definitely would care if he saw you sitting with some customers, even if the rest of the place was deserted.

"sir," you start again, "i could be fired please--"

"what's his name?"

you're taken aback. a bit confused, too. "your boss, darling. what's his name?"

there's a long pause before you say anything at all.

"hikaru," you tell him at last.

he smiles at you, tugs you in even closer. "thank you."

he smells good, you think absently. expensive. 

"hikaru!" he yells suddenly, causing you to practically jump out of your skin. your boss is quick to appear, looking like a beat dog. he seems to recognize ran, and he seems to be scared of him and you really, really don't like that.

"is there something i can help you with, sir?" he asks, timid as a mouse. your heart stops. there's something wrong here, you think. there's something very wrong and it's too late. its too late.

you're sitting beside ran now, his arm wrapped around you and his hand rubbing your shaking shoulder soothingly. "you wouldn't mind if she joined us, would you? we could use the company."

your boss' eyes flit over to you, just barely, before he bows his head again. "of course not, sir. it's no problem at all."

ran turns to you at that. "you hear that, darling. no problem at all." you look down and can't help but notice drops of red marring the pristine white of his dress shirt. it's right on the cuff. it's dried now, more brown than anything else but you recognize it for what it is.

you can't help but think you've stepped into a bear trap of sorts, and now your foot has been cut clean off. you’re screaming and screaming, trying to staunch the bleeding and ran won’t stop smiling. 

[obae-me]

I have been asked to expand on the MC with trauma scenarios, and you know what, I need the comfort, so let's do it! (No these are not based on myself, I don't know what you're talking about....)

Also I've seen a ton of people's responses to the last one and just know that I am spiritually patting you all on the head and wrapping a soft blanket around your shoulders.

--

MC with ~Trauma~ PT 2!

Imagine an MC who has been mocked, berated, or criticized for their joys and hobbies. They don't do those things anymore or go to great lengths to hide them.

They never share their writing or their art with anyone. They are surrounded by demons and angels much more talented than them. The thing that they felt they were moderately talented in is below average compared to these beings... Everything they create is hidden in secret digital folders or kept in notebooks under their mattress or tucked in secret spots on their bookshelves.

They never sing or dance or play their instruments. They almost avoid the music room altogether. It's almost too painful for them to think about. If they attend a dance they just stand off to the sides... They don't participate in karaoke. They don't hum to their favorite songs.

They hardly cook, or garden, or read, or edit, or color, or knit, or crochet, or embroider, or anything else that they might enjoy.

Imagine some of the nosier brothers not realizing the pain that hides behind their passions and either playfully spying on them or digging up their secrets. Their hearts are fully destroyed when their human breaks down in tears. Now, every single day, every character encourages them to do what they love and giving them private time and space to do it in a place where they feel safe. They all hope that maybe one day MC will feel comfortable enough to share what they love with them but they will never pry it out of them, and all the while giving them the support they need behind the curtain.

Imagine Satan, Levi, and Mammon grouping together and creating a PowerPoint presentation. With Satan's organizing skills, Levi's technological know-how, and Mammon's morally grey skills of espionage, they gather all the characters together and teach a class on what to do and not to do around MC. Things like having a clear voice in text messages to keep them from having anxiety. Or not slamming doors, not entering their room without knocking, reminding them to drink water, knowing when to give them time to breathe etc. Everyone takes it seriously (some might say too seriously), including Belphie who didn't even sleep for a second during the whole thing.

What about an MC who takes on too much and never says anything about it? At first, Lucifer, Barbatos, and to a lesser degree Diavolo, are pleased that they've found a human with a strong work ethic and a love for responsibility. Little do they know that while part of that might be true, they are doing it because they are non-confrontational, a people pleaser, or try to prove their worth through success (or all of the above). They burn themselves out and forgo their other needs to conserve all their energy for the work that's been given to them, and it's not until it becomes a serious health issue that anyone really notices. They all take a blow when they come to know how much they had been pushing a human beyond their capabilities. So they tell MC to do less, not expecting the human to try and convince them that it wasn't an issue, maybe even apologizing for failing. Now they all have to keep an eye on MC and make sure they don't take things too far, and make sure that MC knows that their worth isn't tied to how much gets done in a day and they don't think of them any less for taking breaks or time for themselves. And maybe they all learn to take care of themselves a little more for it too. Especially one work-a-holic demon known as Pride.

How about an MC that hates the way they look? No matter what that might be. Body size, shape, height, skin-tone, skin-color, scars, blemishes, freckles, etc. What if it was drilled into their head since they were a child that they were not beautiful? What if they can't look into the mirror or take any photos of themselves without feeling sick? How about being around a demon like Asmo? Maybe resenting him, maybe avoiding him, maybe wishing they were like him. It probably would hurt Asmo to see someone hating themselves and their body so intently. Maybe it's because it reminds him of himself. Maybe they both have to sit down and rethink what beauty really means? It's a long process for both of them.

All of them work with the human with their image and not in a shallow way like trying to deny the things they have and who they are. They find ways around pictures, because there are more ways to keep memories rather than selfies and commemorative photos.

Or what if:

Beel: *In MC's room.* Alright, we'll just do some basic stretches.

MC: Okay, just tell me what to do.

Beel: Well, if you want, you can put on some music to make it more relaxing.

MC: Music? *Looks a little nervous.* If you want...

*MC then turns some music on their phone on the lowest setting and sets it on their bed.*

Beel: Um...you can turn it up more than that if you want.

MC: Louder? Really?

Beel: Don't you think it's a little quiet?

MC: Oh...um...okay... *turns it up by one more click.* Is- Is that okay? I can turn it down again.

Beel: *Opens his mouth, confused for a moment before shutting it again. In the quickest second, he's in his demon form.* Who do I need to find?

MC: B-Beel?!

[embrosegraves]

𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕌𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader Oscar finds that having a crush having less than platonic feelings for your boss's only adult daughter is apparently free real estate for some of F1's biggest gossips

Warnings: As per, explicit language and grammatical errors.

dates on tweets don't exist, right? they're all just fake??

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oscarpiastri A week full of sim training, rage rooms and relaxation before going home for a p1 on the podium (hopefully) (max let me have this i beg) tagged: redbullracing, yn.horner

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logansargeant did I not tell you rage rooms were the coolest ever -> oscarpiasrti yeah yeah keep bragging 🙄 -> logansargeant well since you gave me permission-

fan38 at least its a controlled environment to deal with your emotions -> yn.horner thank FUCK i convinced him to do this instead of what Ruben wanted -> rubenholtt what was wrong with egging and tp-ing her house? -> yn.horner uhh everything???

maxverstappen1 I'm not gonna go easy on you just because you grew up 10 minutes from the track -> oscarpiastri BOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅

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oscarpiastri The glasses are NOT the issue and you know it. -> yn.horner What you think I don't look good with facial hair? -> oscarpiastri Hey don't put words in my mouth -> oscarpiastri I just wasn't expecting you to pick up looking like THAT

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user325 AND NOT A SINGLE DISQUAL IN SIGHT -> danielricciardo 😢😢 -> user325 sorry Danny -> danielricciardo 😒🫶

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oscarpiastri what names have you chosen for yours? assuming that whoever they match with has named theirs -> yn.horner their names are confidential i'm afraid -> oscarpiastri boooooo no fun :(

user549 wish my boyfriend did this for me -> user550 babe, we're literally on our way to go buy jellycats -> user549 ok and???

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if you see this, know that you WILL be getting the next update after the Imola GP i promise.

I've been in a really odd spot in my life where I haven't been very motivated to do any writing (or even just creating in general) for long burst of time, which means that any requests I have been sent previously have been sitting in my drafts half finished because I cannot for the life of me find any inspiration to write anything.

I count myself lucky that I had enough motivation and energy to start pre-planning for the rest of this series. If you take a look at the series masterlist you'll notice that there are numbers next to the current chapters and beyond. I've decided that the entire series is going to be 14 chapters in total with a bonus chapter for Oscar and Y/n's shenanigans at the end of the 2024 season.

I can't thank everyone enough for being so incredibly patient with me as I try to work through this writing slump. Slowly but surely I will start uploading fic reqs again

-- Embrose xx

[paperbackpanic]

Good deeds the pastas do

A/n: inspired by @milkycarnations post :) most are a "living together" type of good deeds bc I assume they're kinda of hermits because of the nature of their "job"

🪷 Eyeless Jack homeschool the child pastas, the pastas that are in highschool and the ones who didn't conclude the basic education level on the "right time" (idk how to explain it better). He might be a bit rusty with English and history but other than that he's the perfect teacher. His patience is not usually that high but when he's teaching he turns into a saint.

🪷 Jane will clean people's clothes without them asking, she'll even patch them if there's holes. She also makes people new clothes when she gets her hands on fabric, usually they're practical and simple (something like gym clothes, easy to run with) but super well made

🪷 Hoodie will take pictures of whoever asks him, and he'll go above and beyond for them. Think throwing himself on the ground to get a good shot, huge lights, all that. Heck he'll even make a physical photo album with edited photos if it's a person that he's able to communicate more often than just a stranger asking him for a favor.

🪷 Toby will return shopping carts that he encounter scattered around parking lots, and if they see a person not returning them he'll put the cart behind their car so they'll have to keep getting out of the car to push it way. He'll do it until the person loses their patience and return it. He'll also make sure that the person doesn't see that it's him putting the cart behind the car so the person has no idea why it's happening

🪷 Laughing Jack will put people's favorite candy and snacks in their rooms if he notices that they're feeling under the weather, sick or anything like that. He'll deny it but he does it pretty often. Also makes an effort to know the top 5 snacks because he knows that someone's favorite can be hard to come by.

🪷 Masky will fix people cars if he notices that's something wrong with it. Scratches? No problem he knows how to fix, sometimes even if there's no paint. Bumps? Fixed. Need to change the oil? No you don't, he already took care of it last week. He also checked the antifreeze, the water and the gas. If he's with the energy he'll clean it too.

🪷 Cody will make sure that there's no cross contamination in the food you consume if you have any allergies, both inside and when you go out to eat. Someone is cooking shrimp and you're allergic to shellfish? He's making that person disinfect every corner of the kitchen. Going out to eat? He'll make sure the cooks make your food correctly, if you have Celiac disease or something like that that's "harder to see" he'll order the same food as you to make sure they were prepared differently (like he'll order the same burger as you to look if it's made with different bread). Also he always has at least 2 EpiPen in his pockets.

🪷 BEN will always play with you when you ask him. Even let you win if he knows you're feeling bad that day. Videogames? Deal. Board games/card games? He's making at least 2 other people play with you too to make it more interesting. Children games like house? Hell yeah. Just not ask him to run around that much, like when playing tag or something, he will do it but he also will complain a lot about it.

🪷 Jeff will always speak for you in public places if you can't do it yourself. He'll also complain for you. Need to order something in a restaurant? He got it. Your burger came with pickles when you ask for no pickles? Bet he's already on the counter asking to switch the order. Your AACC device is out of battery? Write down what you want to say and he'll do it no hesitation.

🪷 Nina will always do your makeup, hair and nails. Her room is basically a saloon for when y'all go out and is super fun! Loud music blasting, chatter, dancing all that! She'll even make an effort to learn other alt makeup (she already knows emo/scene) if you're in some alternative subculture. Gyaru? She's getting those huge press on nails and fake tan. Goth? She already has white foundation and black lipstick. She'll spend a good amount of time learning techniques that she knows you like to use just to guarantee that you're feeling 100% hot.

[aanoia]

Orphic (Pt. 8)

pairing; Ao'nung x Sully!reader Orphic; (adj.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding words; 3,949 warnings; sadness, gets a little steamy but tbh not really Pt. 1; Pt. 2; Pt. 3; Pt. 4; Pt. 5; Pt. 6; My writing is a little different towards the end of this, because I went down a rabbit hole and used all kinds of tips and trick to write it. it's not perfect, and I don't feel like it's my writing but I'll get used to it. Hopefully I can apply those tricks to my future writing. Anywho look at me posting again >:)

Y/n had noticed L’oa. Of course she had. In the month or so her relationship has been estranged with Ao’nung, all she’s done is notice L’oa. She stepped in, stole her place to keep Ao’nung warm. It’s difficult for Y/n to remember that she’s the one that left that spot empty, and it’s her fault, not L’oa’s. But it doesn’t stop insecurity from bubbling up in her stomach everytime the girl is around. She’s so soft, and feminine, and perfect. Y/n is just not, in her eyes. She doesn’t consider herself a jealous person either, she’s never really had the need to be jealous. But when L’oa’s hand slides down Ao’nung’s arm, she wants to march over there and pull her away, then kiss Ao’nung and claim what’s hers. What was hers.

She sighs softly as she watches her siblings play in the water. They laugh and hiss as they splash water at each other, seemingly not a care in the world. She wishes she had the energy to join them, but she just can’t. It hurts too much to have fun without him. To smile while she knows she’s killed his.

“Well, haven’t you heard? They’re planning on mating tonight.” Two young Na’vi men walk past slowly, talking rather loudly.

“Ao’nung and L’oa? Really?” Y/n’s ears perk up at his name, and she focuses in on the conversation. 

The first boy nods, “Yeah, I heard the Tsahik speaking to him about it. She said that at first she was fine with giving them time -whatever that means- but now she isn’t. She wants them to mate soon.”

The second boy hums softly, and by now their out of ear shot. Y/n’s ears flatten as she frowns, her eyes stinging with tears. She inhales, she doesn’t need more tears. She’s losing Ao’nung, for good, now. After he mates with L’oa, there’s no going back. But her heart beats strong, a small glimmer of hope giving it power. Ronal chose L’oa for Ao’nung. He didn’t choose her. 

However, in the end Y/n knows that she won’t go to him. She won’t beg for his forgiveness, and ask him to choose her, because she chooses him. Ronal would skin her if she ruined her pairing, and she needs to protect her family. They’ve found a home here. Y/n would never forgive herself if she was the reason they lost it.

The sky darkens slowly, and Y/n watches the soft hues of pink and orange morph into each other. She imagines she was here with Ao’nung right now. He’d sit next to her, and probably hold her hand. Or maybe he’d sit so close their thighs touched, and she could rest her head on his shoulder. He’d listen to her rant, and smile, and look at her with that look no one else can describe but as pure love. Neteyam had once described it as the way their father looks at their mother, and Y/n had immediately thought that she must’ve found the one then. 

There’s soft murmurs to the side, and she glances over. Her heart drops as she sees Ao’nung and L’oa. They seem uncomfortable, probably because the rumor of them likely mating after the eclipse had spread across the village. Everyone was talking about it. In a fit of fate, their eyes meet. She looks at Ao’nung, her brows furrowing sadly. His expression is unreadable as he gazes at her, his heart longing. They stare at each other for what feels like forever. It’s almost as if he’s waiting for her to come to him, and tell him she didn’t mean anything and she’s sorry. 

Shockingly for both of them, she does. She doesn’t think twice when she stands, and walks quickly over. She glances at L’oa, eyes begging for just a moment. L’oa’s ears flatten, and her face falls as she nods. She turns and walks a good distance, giving them space. Y/n looks at Ao’nung, unsure of what to say. She glances down momentarily, and the small bit of hope in her heart grows. He’s wearing her necklace. She’s wearing his, as well.

“I-” Her voice dies, and Ao’nung waits patiently for her to continue. “Hi.” She mentally curses herself.

His face falls, “That’s all you have to say?”

Y/n exhales, “No. Just figured I get greetings out of the way first.”

The corner of his lips twitch up, but they fall just as quick, “You did good.”

“I know.” She nods, she glances at L’oa’s figure. “Are the rumors true?”

Ao’nung pauses as clouds gather above them, dark and angry, “What rumors?”

She raises a brow, “You know what rumors I’m talking about.” She shuffles in the sand, feeling her confidence slowly dwindle.

He sighs deeply, “They are.”

Her ears twitch downwards, and she bites the inside of her cheek roughly, “You guys will be a mated pair by sunrise?”

He swallows thickly as he nods, “Yeah, I guess so.” Rain starts to trickle down from the sky, and it gets significantly darker as the sun dips below the horizon. 

Y/n’s stomach churns as she meets his eyes once again, “Do you like her?”

Ao’nung shrugs, “My mother does.”

“But do you?” She presses.

Ao’nung scoffs softly, “You’re the one that left me, Y/n. What does it matter if I like L’oa now? You shouldn’t care.”

Y/n winces, exhaling, the rain stings her eyes, or that’s what she’d like to believe. “Yeah, I shouldn’t.”

He stares at her in silence for a moment, searching her eyes, “But you do.” His voice is almost drowned out by the pounding rain and aggressive waves.

She nods, “I definitely do.”

He shakes his head, running his hand through his hair, it was down for once, “That’s not fair, Y/n. It’s been a month- I’ve been trying to put you behind me. Because even though I don’t believe you don’t care about me, you still left. And I’ve respected that choice, and I let it happen. You can’t come back to me now.”

Her throat closes, and her lip wobbles, “I’m not coming back. I was just asking questions.”

“Bullshit.” He mutters, shaking his head. There’s another moment of silence between them, and his face softens. He gently lifts her chin, then rests his hand on her cheek. “Ask me not to mate with her. And I won’t go through with it.” He whispers, barely audible. “Ask me not to, Y/n. Ask.”

Her heart pounds against her chest as she thinks over her choices. She wants nothing more than to just give in and kiss him right there. But her mind flashes to Ronal, and her threat of kicking her family out, and she can’t do it. Imagining her siblings having to pack their things for a second time, and leave their new home, is excruciating just to think about. A tear falls down her cheek, mixed in with the water droplets from above.

“I can’t.” She whispers, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry, I can’t. Go to her. You're hers.” Her voice breaks, and she hugs herself. She’s giving him up completely. For good. 

Ao’nung wipes his cheek quickly, and her heart breaks as she realizes he was crying too. He turns and starts walking back to L’oa, his shoulders trembling. Y/n’s face scrunches in pain and she watches L’oa hug Ao’nung, and the two of them leave quickly. Their direction is towards a common mating place, where many people go due to its sereneness. She watches him go, her heart breaking more every step he takes.

The walk to the cove is silent, and Ao’nung has to bite back his tears. Y/n has officially let him go, and he didn't realize it'd hurt so much. He doesn't really understand how she could mean so much to him after such a short time. Something about love having no time limit, whatever Tsireya says. 

“Ao'nung- I'm sorry. I know she meant a lot to you.” L'oa says softly, and if Ao'nung wasn't so busy wallowing it his own self pity, he'd hear the hurt in her voice. 

Ao'nung shrugs, “There's nothing I can do about it anymore. Now that we are to be mated.”

L'oa nods, biting her cheek. She's been thinking things over a lot. The two make it to the cove, and it really is beautiful. Glowing fauna is scattered around, and there are beds of moss laying in different areas. Ao'nung understands why a couple would want to bond for life here, it was beautiful. Eywa, he wishes it was her. Ao'nung turns to L'ao, looking her over. She really is beautiful, and a great person. He'll be fine.

Ao’nung steps closer to her, and tucks hair behind her ears, “I'm sorry you're being forced into this.” He says softly. 

L'oa swallows thickly, “I'm not. I chose to do it.”

Ao'nung hesitates, “You chose to mate with me?”

L'oa nods, her eyes drifting to the ground, “Yes. I've- I've like you for a while, now, Ao'nung.”

Ao'nung shakes his head, “You have?”

L'oa sniffles softly and nods, gaining the courage to look at him in his eyes, “Yes, I have. But I know- I know you don't want me. So- go.”

Ao'nung steps back, his eyes widened, “Go?”

“Yes, go.” She affirms, hugging herself.

“Why?” He questions, his mind racing.

L'oa inhales deeply, “I see the way you look at her. Like she's the only thing- like she's the sun and you the moon. Like you would die without her. I can't be in a relationship where my mate doesn't love me back, Ao'nung. So go. Find her, and make her take you back.” Her eyes are watering slightly, but she bites into her lip hard. 

Ao'nung hesitates, before pulling her into a hug, “You'll find someone better than me, L'oa. I swear on Eywa you will.”

She smiles softly, hugging him back, “The bar is low. Go.”

He laughs quietly as he pulls away, he runs a hand over his face, “Right, go. I'm going.” And he's running, as fast as his legs can take him.

A few moments pass, the silence hanging heavy, when a hand lands gently on Y/n’s shoulder. She jumps, her heart racing as instinct flares, ready to fight if needed. But when she turns around, the sight in front of her takes the air from her lungs.

Ronal stands there, her face clouded with pain and regret, her eyes reddened from tears and the relentless rain. Her cheeks are streaked with both sorrow and water. Y/n opens her mouth to ask what’s going on, but the words freeze on her tongue. Nothing comes out.

“You must go to him,” Ronal says, her voice trembling, devoid of its usual strength. “I’ve made a mistake. And I am so sorry, my dear. But you must stop him. This isn’t right. It’s not Eywa’s will... You are. You’re his destiny, child.”

Y/n stares at Ronal, her face caught between confusion and anger. Her chest tightens as the weight of the situation crashes down on her. She just let him go. Let L’oa have him. And now Ronal, of all people, is here begging her to stop her son from making a mistake.

For a moment, her anger flares, but it doesn’t last. Slowly, the realization settles in. Ronal had been the only thing holding her back from reaching out to Ao’nung. And now, with her plea, the path is clear. She wants to be with him.

Ronal, desperate, misreads Y/n’s silence as refusal. Her panic escalates, and she grabs Y/n’s arm. “Please, you must. He’ll be miserable in that loveless marriage. He needs you. I didn’t see that before—I was blind. But now I see. I see you. My son is different, better with you. That’s what a mate should do. L’oa doesn’t do that for him—”

Y/n cuts her off with a shaky nod, swallowing thickly. “Okay, okay, I don’t—” She shakes her head, heart pounding in her chest. Without another word, she turns and runs, leaving Ronal behind. Her legs scream in protest, already tired from the day’s weight, but she pushes herself harder, driven by desperation. The burning in her lungs only fuels the fire, the need to reach Ao’nung before it’s too late.

The rain pounds harder, drenching her as she runs, each drop like ice against her skin. She’s so focused on reaching him that she doesn’t see the root beneath her feet. Her foot catches it, sending a sharp pain through her ankle, and her body stumbles forward.

Her arms flail instinctively to catch herself, but the ground doesn’t come. Instead, strong, cold arms wrap around her shoulders, holding her steady.

She freezes for a heartbeat, ready to tear away and keep running, but then she looks up into his face—and everything stops.

“Shit—Y/n?” Ao’nung’s voice is filled with concern as he inspects her for injury.

Y/n sucks in a breath, her mind racing faster than her heartbeat. “I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, and I’m so sorry.” The words tumble out in a rush. “I love you, Ao’nung. I’m sorry I pushed you away, your mother—never mind her. I didn’t know what else to do. I had to protect my fami—”

“Hey, hey, hey—slow down, slow down,” Ao’nung interrupts, his hands firmly gripping her shoulders as he looks into her eyes. His brow furrows with confusion. She’s speaking too fast for him to understand more than his name. “Y/n, I actually need to talk to you—”

“No, no—” Y/n cuts him off as a crack of thunder splits the sky above them. The rain intensifies, pounding relentlessly. “I can’t hear you!” she shouts, her voice barely cutting through the noise.

Ao’nung’s brow furrows as he leans in closer, confused. “What did you say?”

Another crack of thunder sounds near them, and Y/n jumps, her head snapping toward it. “The lightning—come on!” She grabs his hand, pulling him toward the cove. She runs with all her might, praying to Eywa that L’oa isn’t there.

She feels Ao’nung tugging at her hand as they near the entrance. She stops abruptly, her heart racing. “Woah, woah, woah—wait a second.” She spins to face him, breath ragged from the run. “What are you doing here?”

Ao’nung shakes his head, his face full of confusion. He tugs her inside the cove, glancing around quickly, relieved to see L’oa isn’t there. The thunder rages outside, but the thick walls of the cove drown it out, leaving them in a tense silence.

“What did you say?” Ao’nung asks again, his voice barely audible over the sound of the storm, water dripping from his chin.

Y/n swallows thickly, trying to focus on him. Her gaze darts to his lips but quickly returns to his eyes. “Why aren’t you with L’oa?”

Ao’nung’s jaw tightens, his face hardening for a split second before he speaks. “I… left her.”

Y/n’s heart skips a beat. She wants to ask why, but instead, the words spill out before she can stop them. “Okay, never mind that. I don’t want you to mate with her. I can’t have you mate with her.”

Ao’nung’s lips twitch upward in a small, confused smile. “Y/n—”

“I’m serious!” she interrupts, her voice shaking with emotion. “I was afraid of being with you—not because of you, but because I needed to protect my family. Your mother threatened our uturu. But Ao’nung, I can’t be apart from you.”

He grabs her hand, his grip firm and warm. His eyes soften with understanding, but there’s still a flicker of something else there—anger, frustration—but it’s held in check. “Y/n.”

“I love you, Ao’nung. And I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise. But I really, really do. And I understand if you want L’oa now because she’s beautiful—”

“Y/n—”

“And perfect. And no one can compare to her—”

Ao’nung laughs softly, his hand finding its way to her mouth. “Eywa, you don’t ever shut up, do you?” he teases, his voice light despite the storm.

He pulls her in for a kiss, the intensity of it crashing over both of them, the rain outside forgotten.

Their lips meet in a passionate fire, a collision of unspoken words, and for a moment, neither of them knows how to move, how to feel. The world narrows to the heat between them, the pressing of bodies, and the shared breath. Time stretches and bends, every second a quiet unraveling of everything they’ve kept hidden. The kiss tells the story of the past month—of longing that felt too far to reach, of despair that had been too deep to bear, of regret that had eaten them both alive. And yet, in this moment, it’s all laid bare. They can feel everything.

Y/n is the first to pull away, her breath shaky, and she rests her forehead against his, eyes fluttering shut. "I’m so sorry. Please forgive me," she whispers, her voice fragile. A tear escapes and traces the curve of her cheek, but she doesn't move to wipe it away.

Ao’nung smiles softly, tenderness in his gaze. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, reassuring her without a word. "I forgive you," he murmurs. "It wasn’t your fault. You were protecting your family."

Her chest rises and falls with a shaky breath, her voice barely audible as she exhales, “I see you.” Her words are thick with everything unsaid, everything she's felt and wanted to express but couldn't.

Ao’nung opens his eyes slowly, his gaze settling on hers with a quiet, unwavering tenderness. “I see you, paskalin,” he responds, his words a gentle promise that everything between them can still be whole.

Y/n pulls back, still close enough to feel the warmth of his presence. She glances around the Cove, her cheeks warming at the sacredness of the space they occupy. This is a place of intimacy, a sacred mating ground for the Na’vi, and she is standing here with the boy she loves. A soft smile tugs at her lips as she meets his eyes again, and she sniffles softly, her heart both heavy and light.

“You need to apologize to your parents,” she says, her voice a mixture of affection and concern. She presses a soft kiss to his forehead, her fingers lingering there for a moment. “I’m sorry I made you bitter again.”

Ao’nung hums softly, his chest vibrating with a low chuckle. “Damn you, girl,” he says, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “You’ve got some kind of chokehold on me.” Despite the lingering ache in his heart, there’s a quiet relief in him now—an understanding that things will be okay. They will be okay.

He looks at her with a mixture of affection and gratitude, shaking his head. “How do you know I’ve been a dick to my parents?”

Y/n smiles softly, her tail flicking behind her in a playful, almost mischievous gesture. “‘Reya,” she says simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ao’nung sighs, a half-grin still on his face. “I should’ve known. I’ll apologize to them. Don’t worry.”

She stares at him for a moment. Her hand slides behind his neck and she pulls him into another kiss. She pushes against his chest gently, until his back hits the wall. He grunts softly, and she kisses down his jaw. She wants to try something.

When she was younger, Y/n and her siblings had been watching a video file Jake had made when he was a human. The human version of Norm appears behind him, a large bruise on his neck. It interested the children, and they asked about it. Then, Jake had a very uncomfortable talk about what hickey’s were and how they happen. 

She finds a spot she enjoys on his neck, and starts doing what she thinks will cause the bruising. She sucks lightly on it, still kissing the skin to soothe it.

“What are you doi—” His words are cut off as Y/n presses a finger gently to his lips, silencing him. His eyes widen slightly, but something inside him stills as he watches her. He closes his mouth, his breath slow and uneven, trying to make sense of the unexpected feeling. The sensation on his skin is unfamiliar, but it's not bad. In fact, there’s something oddly pleasant about it, a warmth that spreads deeper than he expected.

After a few moments, Y/n pulls her head away, her gaze soft as it settles on the mark on his neck. Her fingers brush lightly over it, and a small smile tugs at her lips. "It worked," she whispers, almost to herself.

Ao’nung’s voice is quiet, still a little lost. “What did you even do?” His eyes flicker to her, searching for answers, but she simply looks away and adjusts the necklace around his neck, the one she noticed earlier.

Y/n studies it thoughtfully. “Where did you get this necklace?” Her fingers run along the intricate design, marveling at the craftsmanship. “It’s beautiful.”

Ao’nung lets out an exaggerated sigh, a grin tugging at his lips. “Oh, you know. Found it lying around. Nothing special.”

Y/n studies the necklace, her fingers lingering on the smooth beads as her thoughts swirl around everything that’s happened in the past hours. Her heart is lighter now, the weight of her doubts lifting with each passing second. She catches Ao’nung’s gaze, and for the first time in what feels like forever, there’s no tension—just quiet understanding.

“Nothing special, huh?” she teases, looking up at him with a small, mischievous grin. “Well, I think it’s beautiful.”

Ao’nung shrugs, but the soft smile that plays on his lips tells her everything. He reaches up, his hand brushing against her cheek, his eyes soft and full of the warmth she’s missed.

“Yeah, well,” he begins, his voice low, a touch of playfulness returning, “I think you’re pretty special.”

Y/n lets out a small, relieved laugh, the sound a sweet release after all the heaviness that’s hung between them. She closes the space between them again, pressing her forehead to his, breathing in the scent of rain and sea, the world outside still crashing down, but for once, it doesn’t matter.

She closes her eyes, letting the moment wash over her. "I love you, Ao’nung," she whispers, her words simple but true. "I don't know if I can ever apologize enough for all the time we lost... but I swear I won't waste another second."

He responds with a gentle kiss to her forehead, the warmth of his lips comforting and steady.

“You don’t have to,” he says softly. “We’ve got time. And that’s enough.”

The storm rages outside, but in this moment, under the soft glow of the cove’s fauna, the world feels still. Together, they share a silence that speaks volumes—one full of forgiveness, understanding, and the promise of what’s to come.

Y/n pulls away, her heart still fluttering, and looks around at the sacred space, her gaze softening. “We’ll be okay, right?”

Ao’nung smiles, his hand gently cupping her face. “Yeah. We will be.”

And for the first time in what feels like forever, Y/n believes him.

She turns her head to kiss his palm softly, “We should go. I feel weird being here.”

His eyes scrunch with his smile, “Why’s that, hm?”

She rolls her eyes, pulling his hand off her face and holding onto it tightly, “Come on, weirdo.” She gently leads him out of the cove. The two face the storm and run back towards the maruis. It took a second to decide who’s marui to go to, and Y/n decided to pull him into hers as they pass by.

Her family kneels in the middle, eating food. All eyes train on them, and Ao’nung smiles nervously, raising his hand in a wave. The family glances at each other, and they all smile, motioning the two to join them in the middle.

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[m0chis-cafe]

how i think pomefiore dorm members would kiss you.. ⋆⑅˚₊

word count; 1.1k

warnings; slight spoilers for their dorm chapter in vils part

characters: Vil and Epel

(i apologize to people who like rook, but i just dont really enjoy his character a bunch, nor pay attention well enough when he is in stories to write for him, no judgment to those who do. sorry again)

vil schoenheit🧺

-is an absolute diva..

-his lips are so soft it's not even funny. especially because of all the damn lip scrubs and moisturizers he uses

-has never had chapped lips a day in his lip

-wouldn't let you kiss him on the lips or anywhere he has makeup on in public

-also very lowkey with you two to the public, he is a public figure after

-if he lets you kiss in public its just small hand kisses, or to the cheek

-in private though.. absolutely loves you to kiss his lipstick off..

-or if you helped him take off his makeup, would melt if you gave him kisses during it

-he often kisses the inside of your wrist, palm, back of your hand, a lot of your hands

-but hell also go for you forehead a lot because this man is so damn tall

-OMG actually kissing him.. magical. deadass magical

-he will not allow for anything but perfection and is super passionate about it

-every kiss feels like the first because he's so damn dramatic about it, but it's so breathtaking

-comes to you for a kiss whenever rook and epel are pissing him off and not being up to pomefiore dorm standards

-don't get me started on the literal hungry kisses he's about to give you after being pissed about losing the song and dance battle, this man was the most pissed you've ever seen him..

-but.. he could also be gentle, a majority of his energy is used on being the head of his dorm, so when he flops onto his giant-ass comfortable bed after doing all of his skincare and your just there to treat him like a normal human.. it's a pure breath of fresh air..

You awaited for Vil to return from orientation with the new freshman coming into pomefiore. Hes already so exhausted by normal day to day duties, unproperly deducted children that didn't know how to act around him yet would surely leave him in a sour mood.

as you sat in thought on his bed, the door suddenly slammed open dn closed within the same second. a very exhausted and for once slightly disheveled vil leaned his back against the door to his dorm room. two strands of hair were loose from his normal braids and sticking up from his crown that was oh so slightly angled in the wrong way that would normally send him into a spiral. his robes had.. wrickles? gods what did they do to him..

"vil? are you alright sweetheart..? you asked gently, raising from his bed to stand before him, taking his hands in yours, "I take it the freshman are a handful this year?"

he looked down at you with tired eye, leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder. his torso folded to your height as he wrapped his arms around your waist, sighing into your shoulder.

"those.. children.. dont know how to behave. how they got into pomefiore in the first place is beyond me, and of course, rook has already taken interest in a particular little poison apple that seems to have an energy about him that guarantees trouble. they don't know how to act, they don't treat me as the royalty I am.. they-" he rambled on into your shoulder, mumbling small curses between subject matters.

you took his face between your hands and looked into his eyes, "vil, its ok. they don't know any better yet. give them time.." you spook gently, being used to his almost instant rants as soon as he was in the privacy of his dorm room.

as he sighed and leaned into your hand, placing kisses onto your palm, he finally smiled, "your right my love.. your always right, you always know how to calm me" he regained his composure and stood, sweeping you into his arms as he carried you to his desk, setting you into his lap "would you help me remove my makeup, id like to hear about your day now poison.."

(posion,, cause the apples. u guys love me)

Epel Felmier🍎

-country bumpkin..

-IM KIDDING, I LOVE HIM.. and i am one too its ok sweetie

-his lips are a fun mix of soft and chapped, depending on if he feels like defying vil that week or not..

-also depends on what kind of a mood the other first years put him in

-actually though is so sweet to you despite being so angry towards most others with his real personality

-when hes being very sweet and calm like vil wants him to be, you make fun of him afterwards, much more so preferring his real personality

-vil hates and loves you guys together

-you keep him present and encourage him to go to pomefiore events and such, but also encourage him to act out sometimes.. which vil hates and rook finds really interesting

-would go into anaphylactic shook if you kissed him in front of anyone, especially the other 1st years

-hes too manly to be soft for you.. until yall are alone

-is actually a big baby when yall are alone

-kissing your cheeks, hand, and nose often

-he was taught by his southern family, very classy back-of-your-hand kisses

-absolutely takes you back to his hometown and gets harassed by his family if he's 'treating you right'

when epel took you and a couple of your classmates to his hometown for a festive this isn't what you were expecting.. it seemed like a year-round pumpkin patch and fall-themed village. you held onto his hand like a lifeline as the others ran around and looked at everything there was to offer while you were terrified to meet his family for the first time in person..

"is there a reason your trying to stop the blood flow from my hand, crimson?" he questioned quietly so the others didn't hear, looking concerned as you released his hand immediately and shaking it out.

"yes.. yea- yea for sure. im good." you rambled in a slight panic. everyone else seemed so calm and excited to be here, but it was just nerves, "do you.. do you think your families gonna like me?" you asked quickly.

"what?" his head snapped towards you, his bangs covering his eyes for a second as his southern accent slipped through, being home and with you made him more comfortable it being normal as he questioned you, "like you? crimson they're gonna love you more than they love me" he reassured, picking up your hand again and placing a gentle kiss to the back of it. tugging you closed to leave a small peck on your lips once he made sure no one else was looking. he held his lips at your hand mumbling while looking into your eyes, "your perfect.."

[spread-the-influence]

You can post that rant here, pookie. We'll listen 🤭

i've been resisting because i'm trying so hard to just keep this as a blog for the au and the comic itself but Wow it gets so difficult to Stfu with each passing day LMAO i feel like i should just go crazy like i did in the other blog and post my rambles without caring for The Blog's Theme

let me preface this by saying that i will do this without making references to external sources ( gooseworx's tumblr + interviews ) because i don't think you need to hear it from her to know how ridiculous it would be for ragatha to be 100% evil or 100% good .

___ So. a Theme in a story is the Central Idea . it's a concept woven throughout the narrative , and it comes up multiple times to give a Message . a Message in a story is a Lesson . it's what the writer wants to tell you through the story . essentially , think of theme as the Topic and message as The Details . the theme provides the foundation while the message provides the walls , easy peasy

let's apply this to tadc . the theme that jumps out the most , to me personally , is Community . through the fucked-upness of the circus , the thing that grounds the characters is their bonds . even though the episodes would get dark and existential , there's this underlying sense of hope because these characters have Each other .

this is where ragatha comes in ! this woman Craves a community , and that's why she's interesting . she's trying to make everyone like her — even the people whose opinions she Shouldn't care about — to the point that she would act insincerely to achieve that . but this only results in her unintentionally pushing everyone away . and well i've talked before about how her relationship with everyone has Tension .

if she was a villain ... it will Suck ! not just in a writing sense but in a narrative sense , like — if her evil plan was to get everybody on her side then she failed Spectacularly at that . but if her evil plan was to act so pathetic that no one would suspect her then move the fuck over mother gothel because THIS is the most manipulative animated villain of the 21st century

but seriously , it will suck because What Message Is There , and most importantly , how does it play to the Community theme ? oh boy oh boy the nice person is actually mean all along , guess i learned to never trust anybody — in the show about learning to trust people ????? also there's just zero buildup to it . any buildup ragatha has regarding her ' true self ' is just her being Insecure and Anxious , which very much doesn't give off villain energy if you ask me

if she's a pure angel that has done nothing wrong , however , then it's ... not going to be narratively satisfying . while i would prefer this over the reveal of her being a villain hypothetically , it will still Suck because it undermines the Tension and Buildup , if you get me . like wow cool we're getting hints that ragatha's not what she seems , only to find out that ... she is what she seems !

i'll say this setup isn't really building up to Oh she's a bad person ): or Oh she's good (: it's more like Oh this woman needs a fucking therapist we need to give her a support system asap so she wouldn't explode on us .

i'm not going to chalk this up to lack of media literacy ( because personally the phrase ' media literacy ' has kind of became a buzzword that doesn't mean anything beyond ' you're reading it the Wrong way ' which defeats the point of engaging with art ) . i just think people formed an image of ragatha from the pilot , and that was only cemented by her being the oldest woman in the circus + her fussing over pomni . she did seem like a kind caretaker looking out for everybody if you don't read into her dialogue too much . so of course when traits of her that aren't as Kind come out , it stands out .

and honestly ? i've stopped minding it as much — because if i wrote a character like ragatha i want this Exact thing to happen ! i would go HAHA you fell for the character's facade that was meant to be dismantled by the viewer !!!!

[astrologylunadream]

Everything Your Person Loves About You♡🧁🍇🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream!! I will be showing you all the things that your person loves about you♡ hope you find your message💌🖤

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍇🍨☕

Pile 1🧁

Pile 2🍇

Pile 3🍨

Pile 4☕

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🍨☕🖤

Pile 1🧁

Sign energy: Love at first sight, Twin flame, Pride, End, Book, 8th house, South node, 5th house, Aquarius, Taurus, ☄❤🦢⚖

👤Your person's energy: Very romantic energy for this pile's person, omg this is a connection that has been going for a long time possibly beyond this lifetime. I'm seeing this as someone you have hit a roadblock with, and the relationship may have slowed down or come to a stop.🤚 Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius and Taurus placements, specifically could be Taurus over their 8th house or Aquarius over their 5th. Your person has a passionate and deep nature about them, they probably love the story of romeo and juliet as it is their idea of true romance. When they love, they love so deep and endlessly. Omg this person loves like they're in a romance book.📖💞 I think they are very physically attractive to my pile 1's, ohh and their voice is so addictive to you lol. They are very prideful in themselves and their talents, this may be someone who reads or writes online a lot. Some of my pile 1's fell in love at first sight with this person!!🥰 This could be a twin flame connection for most of you take what resonates, you may see them as your other half that compliments you perfectly.☯⚖ I feel like they just came into your life and just completed you in some way, soulmate vibes~💓

🖤What they love about you: Concert, Desert, Hug from behind, Despair, Ring, Mercury, Mars, Fire, 5th house, Gemini, 🧛‍♀️❌🍬🌃 Omggg my pile 1 this is getting good!!😍 First of all they love your mind and the way you think, the way you sort out your thoughts and the things you talk about. They love hearing you speak (especially on phone calls I'm hearing📞) and they feel like you have such a beautiful rhythm to your voice and the way you think.💭💕 Ahh your person LOVES the way you hug and hugging you too, I'm definitely seeing that they love the way you pull them in every way especially physically very interested in you😍🙊 They love how creative and sweet you are! Also this is so funny but I feel like they love the way you react when you're angry or sad like it is attractive to them??😳 The way you say no to things that don't serve you is so amazing to them, like they can just see the fire in your soul and it lights up! Your interests, hobbies and music you listen to all makes them more in love. Physically they really like your behind, that is what is came up😭😳 There's more but this is not that type of reading so we'll leave it there for my pile 1's😂😂 I think they really love seeing you have fun and enjoy things, they can't ignore the spark in your eyes when you love something.💓

💌Messages from your person: Who are you? I'm playing with fire, Your soul is mine, It's hard to explain, What have you done? It's meaningless, I can save you, Something is pulling us together. (Ahh a soul connection is real between you two💞) Extra cards: Closed, Choice, Actor, Drown, Lean

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the cupcake emoji~🧁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🍇

Sign energy: Short term, Imagination, Fit, Ego, Reach out, Sun, Scorpio, Neptune, Leo, Moon, 🌅🧜‍♂️🎰🕺

👤Your person's energy: I'm getting very intense vibes from my pile 2's person, almost like they got something to prove. Leo, Scorpio, Pisces and Cancer placements, I'm getting Scorpio and Leo vibes the most. They are very captivating and their stare is so deep, they have a lot of confidence and self respect. They have quite an imagination and fantasize often, mostly of themselves and their life I'm hearing. I think they know you are attracted to them or tell themselves that, like "pile 2 is definitely into me😎" haha. They may try often to fit your ideals or their own, striving to be a living fantasy. You or them could be reaching out to the other but I feel like it's more likely your person. They are very attractive and alluring, I think they put a lot of effort into themselves. Omg pile 2's person loves showing off, and getting attention, probably have people obsessed with them secretly. They are reaching for the stars I'm hearing, very ambitious.☀️ The number 7 may be significant, I am seeing a lot of self energy with your person. They are heavily focused on how they appear to others, and to you. Illusive siren vibes, they draw you in deeply🖤

🖤What they love about you: January, Lay down, Solitude, Self love, Siren, Leo, Lilith, North node, 9th house, 7th house, 🎫🔍😗🤷‍♂️ Ahaha okay for my pile 2's your person loves your aura and who you are. They see you as a reflection of themselves in some way, they are in love with the way you treat yourself with self respect and confidence.👑💞 Also I think they are heavily into your attitude and outlook on things, honestly they are so attracted to your edgy side.🔪 Like your more intimidating self, they actually are really attracted to that side of you. Your person has a thing for your dark side🙊 Also you may spend time alone for yourself and they love that about you, that you make time for yourself and put yourself first when needed <3 Also how curious you are about deeper topics like occult and for some of you it's shadow work, your person loves how interested you are in those things.🖤 I do see that your person may love the idea of a relationship with you, having you as a potential romantic partner for them. Also they love how mysterious and beautiful you are, like your energy is so magnetic to them. They think you're very smart too, even if you don't think so. Of course take what resonates but I'm seeing your person loves fantasizing hot scenarios with you😳 Over all they just love how you radiate confidence and pride in life and they love how you take control of the things you want in life.♡✊🖤

💌Messages from your person: You might get scared, You made a mistake, You should have texted me, I won't let you be with anyone else, Please don't hide your pain, Tell me the truth, I won't forget this, It can't be (My pile 2's your person wants to know how you're feeling💓) Extra cards: Hands, Longterm, Wild, Grey, Disturbance (Some spicy energy from your person but I'll leave it up to interpretation for this reading🚫🙈🖤)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the grapes emoji~🍇 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3🍨

Sign energy: Prank, Final, Drive, Prove, 6th house, 4th house, Water, Aquarius, Sun, Venus, 🗡🐏🌉😰

👤Your person's energy: Okay so we have some interesting energy for my pile 3's person!! First off they may have their sun in 6th house or Virgo, but I'm also getting Aquarius sun or venus. Cancer, Leo, Libra and Taurus placements aswell for you guys💓 Your person has a touch of soft femininity to them (no matter the gender) like they are just very caring and sweet at heart.🥺 I'm getting that this person gets very defensive if you play with their feelings or emotions, they dislike being tricked or mislead. Some of you know this person through online, or there is a connection to them with that in some way. You think of this person often or on a daily basis, some of my pile 3's overthink about this person!!💭 Lol I think one or both of you try so hard to act like there's nothing going on between you to like friend zoning or trying to remain professional, but like the relationship means so much to you both I'm hearing♡ You feel very familiar with this person, they are very protective over you too like family. I am getting that they are also very supportive of your love for them. They make you feel safe and in love, omg and I am hearing that they have a fierce side to them when it comes to protecting their loved ones like no one will want to mess with them because they will fight hard to keep you safe💗

🖤What they love about you: Desperation, Mall, Handsome, Model, Captive, 4th house, Pisces, Aries, 9th house, Uranus, 🗡😖😗💢 Ahh my pile 3's your person loves your soft side and the way you show your emotions. This is a strange message but I'm hearing they really love when you are desperate over something like them, like they are so into that😳 It's a weird kink of theirs. But anyways they love how passionate and vulnerable you are for the things you care about, your hopeless romantic nature. Your person thinks that is so attractive of you😭💞 They love if you blush over them too like "omg they're so cute/attractive/so magnetic" like they really love you like that~ <3 I think they love being stuck on you or the idea of like, not getting over you🥺😢 They fantasize about you on every level from physical to emotional, also they love when you get angry/aggressive🤬 Idk but they think you're so attractive when you're angry like whaaat??😂 But also... they love being able to protect you or keep you to themselves, hugging you and touching you to make you feel at home.💕 Aww pile 3 your person really loves just having you with them or knowing you are safe. They do fantasize about holding you I mean not taking their hands off you LOL they love how delicate and cuddly you are. Also you may have exotic model features that they find very appealing, your legs may be something your person loves about you😍 They really love the way you love them because it feels so soft and sweet to them🥺🍰💗 Also the way you dress is very lovable to them, like they wanna go shopping with you <3

💌Messages from your person: I want to, I'm touched, No one loves me like you do, I finally found you, Your laugh is contagious, What's yours is mine, Why can't you tell me? We would be perfect together (Omggg pile 3 your person loves you so much!!😭💞 They want to you to say you both are perfect for each other💞💕) Extra cards: Explosion, Competition, Honest, Crazy, Message

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sundae emoji~🍨 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4☕

Sign energy: Difficult, Saturn, Only one, Compulsive, Inactivity, 1st house, 12th house, 4th house, Vertex, Mercury, 😥👩‍🎨🤙👉

👤Your person's energy: Okay so there is definitely a block between you and this person right now, it could be emotionally or physically but there is definitely something between you guys that feels confusing and hard to read one another.💭 Capricorn, Aquarius, Aries, Pisces, Cancer, Gemini and Virgo are possible placements for your person, could have Mercury or Saturn in 1st house. This person may not be able to comfort you right now, or perhaps trying to comfort you too much. They may think or talk like an older person even if they are younger, they think responsibly and may be very strict with themselves. This is a very hard time for both of you I'm hearing, and you are trying your best to stay strong.✊ There are definitely confirmations of reaching out spiritually with this person, through tarot and such as this may be the only way to truly call out to them right now. Fate is in the works for you two though, and eventually communication will become more stable and upfront. This person feels like home to you, and you feel connected to them on a higher level.🌠🖤 This is someone you are familiar with, they may keep coming back to you. Some of my pile 4's see this person as the one.💍 But I definitely think this person isn't communicating the best with you right now, But they are trying their best in this connection. This is someone who fantasizes often about being in touch with another's emotions and desires, truly connecting on a level beyond physical.🔗♡ Very dreamy and spiritual individual.

🖤What they love about you: August, Audience, Silence, Lost in translation, Number, Water, Neptune, Aries, Virgo, 10th house, 🧚‍♀️🛏💦😏 Okay my pile 4's I'll try not to go into to much detail but your person is being very naughty right now so we'll just have to keep it simple😬😰 They love your artistic sense of beauty, you have an aesthetic eye and they find that very attractive. They love how illusive and mysterious you are, and your emotional intuitive side. My pile 4's your person loves getting lost in you while thinking of you, dreaming of you is something they love to do. They may have more dark or intimate dreams of you, fulfilling all their fantasies.😅😳 They have a lot of subconscious thoughts they need to translate into their conscious mind, there are things they may not even know they love about you or weren't aware of. But also... your person loves the thought (just the thought😰) of taking you under their control or dominating you in some way most likely mentally. Your vulnerable and fragile side is strangely attractive to them. They would love if you were addicted to them, but they love being that way with you regardless. They may love how your subconscious mind works or seeing you unconscious.. You are like a fairy to your person, they want to catch you and keep you just because you're pretty to them lol.😂🖤 I feel like they're just waiting to say "are you lost?"🥺 so they can take you in and hold you tight.🤧♡♡ They don't mind waiting for you too.

💌Messages from your person: I shouldn't, I'm stuck with you, You can decide, Save me from myself, Believe me, I'm lost without you, You know what I'm doing, Would you kiss me back? (Aww pile 3🥺💞) Extra cards: Fishing, Practical, Heart, Lost in translation, Secret admirer

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the coffee emoji~☕ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[dreamykira]

One Way or Another Pt. 4 I IN-HO x reader

˗ˏˋSUMMARY ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ After discovering a secret passageway in In-ho’s suite, the reader makes a daring escape, navigating through hidden corridors and nearly making it out. Will she succeed or will she be dragged back to captivity?

˗ˏˋWARNINGS ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ in-ho is mean in this one, physical violence against reader, reader gets injured. if i missed any then pls let me know!!!

˗ˏˋAUTHOR'S NOTE ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ long time no see😅 im sorry guys for just disappearing. im trying to manage school, work and family drama all at once rn. anyways im back (i think). i'll try to write pt. 5 and pt. 6 tonight so i have at least something to post during the week (i don't have any hw for tmrw and im feeling inspired rn). ALSOOOOO big big thank you to @androgynous-lady because she gave me so many good ideas for this part. i could literally call her my co-writer at this point!!!!

word count: 1876

The moment In-ho left, you moved.

Every second alone was a gift, a chance to search, to plot, to find a way out of this gilded cage. You had traced every inch of the suite, memorizing its layout, studying its weaknesses. And yet, until now, there had been no clear exit.

But that music box…

It had always struck you as odd—the way it sat on the same cabinet, untouched yet ever-present, playing that eerie melody whenever In-ho watched the games. You had seen him linger by it, fingers brushing against the wood before turning away, as if it held some secret only he understood.

And maybe it did.

Your heart pounded as you approached the cabinet, running your hands along the edges. It seemed solid at first, but then— A subtle indentation, a shift in the wood where it shouldn’t be.

You pressed against it.

Click.

A panel slid open, revealing a dark, narrow passageway beyond.

Your breath caught.

This was it.

Without hesitation, you slipped inside, closing the panel behind you. The air was thick, stale, the space barely wide enough for you to move comfortably. A faint red emergency light glowed along the floor, leading deeper into the unknown.

You had no idea where this led, but that didn’t matter. Forward was your only option.

✧˚ · .

The tunnel twisted and turned, forcing you to move carefully. Pipes lined the walls, humming with energy, carrying water or air to unseen places. You had to crouch in some areas, the ceiling pressing low, making every breath feel shallow, every movement tense.

Somewhere in the distance, you heard the faint echo of voices—guards, most likely, stationed in the hidden spaces between the walls. You pressed forward, silent as a ghost, ears straining to pick up anything useful.

Then, a metal grate came into view ahead of you.

Cautiously, you knelt and peered through the slats.

Below was a control room, smaller than the one In-ho usually occupied but still filled with monitors, screens flickering with live footage of the games. A single guard sat at a console, his back to you, oblivious to your presence.

Your fingers curled around the grate, an idea forming. If you could drop down, maybe you could take him out, steal his uniform, his keycard—

No. Too risky.

You kept moving.

✧˚ · .

Meanwhile, In-ho returned to the suite.

The moment he stepped inside, he knew something was wrong. The air felt… empty. Still.

His gaze flickered to the couch, where you usually sat. Nothing. The bedroom door—open, untouched.

A slow, cold realization settled in his chest.

You were gone.

In-ho exhaled through his nose, setting his mask down with precise care. Then, he turned sharply, striding toward the nearest intercom panel. His voice was measured, but there was an unmistakable edge to it.

“Pull up the security footages. Now.”

The guards hesitated. “Sir?”

“You heard me,” he said, sharper this time. “Find her.”

A few tense moments passed. Then, one of the guards responded.

“Sir, we have a location.”

In-ho’s jaw clenched. “Where?”

“She’s in the hidden passageways.”

His fingers tightened against the desk. “Don’t intercept her yet. Tell me where she’s headed.”

“Understood.”

He wasn’t going to let them drag you back like some runaway prisoner.

No.

He was going to find you himself.

✧˚ · .

You had no idea how much time had passed before you found the second door. After pushing it open, you were met with a dimly lit hallway.

Heart hammering, you stepped over the threshold, feeling cool tile beneath your socked feet. This wasn’t part of the main complex, at least not the part you had seen before. The walls were industrial, metal panels replacing the pristine luxury of the suite. You had made it somewhere deeper, somewhere real.

And yet, you didn’t have time to marvel. You needed to move.

You hurried down the hall, scanning for signs, exits, anything to tell you where you were. Doors lined the corridor, some marked with cryptic symbols, others left unmarked entirely. You paused near one and pressed your ear against it.

Silence.

Carefully, you pushed it open.

Inside was a storage room—rows of neatly folded staff uniforms, stacks of weapons locked behind glass cases. Your pulse quickened. If you could get a disguise—

A sudden noise made you freeze.

Footsteps.

Someone was coming.

Quickly, you ducked behind a shelving unit, pressing yourself into the shadows. The door swung open, and a pair of guards stepped inside, talking in low voices.

“…Check the west hall. She couldn’t have gotten far.”

Your stomach twisted.

They knew.

You held your breath, heart pounding as they rummaged through supplies, oblivious to your presence just feet away.

Then, a radio crackled to life.

“Sir, we have a situation.”

Your hands clenched into fists.

A pause.

Then—In-ho’s voice, low and calm.

“Stay back. I’ll handle this myself.”

The guards hesitated. “Sir, are you sure—”

“Did I stutter?”

Silence.

Then—“Understood.”

Your blood ran cold.

He was coming for you.

You slipped from your hiding place and ran, no real directions in your mind.

✧˚ · .

You made it farther than you ever thought possible. Past another hallway. Past another set of doors. You were close to at least some kind of an exit—you could feel it.

You turned a corner, breath coming in ragged gasps, your legs burning from the relentless sprint. You had made it so far. Just a little more, and maybe—

A shadow moved in front of you.

Too late.

A gloved hand shot out, grabbing your wrist in a vice grip. Before you could react, a second hand caught your shoulder, twisting you around with brutal force. A gasp tore from your lips as you stumbled, slamming against the cold metal wall.

Your body froze.

It was him.

In-ho.

His mask was gone, revealing his face—dark eyes locked onto yours, his expression unreadable. But something simmered beneath the surface. Something dangerous.

“You really thought you could get away?”

His voice was calm, almost eerily so.

Your heart pounded as you struggled in his grip. “Let me go!”

His fingers dug into your wrist, unrelenting. “No.”

You twisted, trying to wrench yourself free, but his hold only tightened. Panic bubbled in your chest. “You’re hurting me,” you gasped, wincing as his grip turned almost bruising.

In-ho’s jaw clenched, his eyes flashing. “Good.”

Your stomach dropped.

This wasn’t the usual In-ho, the one who tried to reason with you, the one who softened just enough to make you question everything. This was something else entirely.

“You disobeyed me,” he continued, voice still infuriatingly calm, but his grip told a different story. “I told you not to test my patience. And yet, here we are.”

Tears welled in your eyes, a mix of frustration and real pain. “Please—you’re hurting me.”

For a moment, just a second, something flickered in his gaze. But it was gone just as fast, replaced by cold indifference.

“And what did you think would happen?” he muttered. “That I’d let you go? That I’d just let you disappear?” He scoffed, yanking you forward, his strength undeniable.

His words sent a shiver down your spine. You shook your head, your voice breaking. “I didn't—”

“Shut it,” he cut you off, voice sharp now. "I don't want to hear another word from your mouth."

You let out a choked sob as he dragged you back the way you came. Every tug of his grip sent pain shooting up your arm, but he didn’t let go. He didn’t slow down. If anything, your resistance only made him rougher.

“In-ho, please,” you whimpered, barely able to keep up with his pace.

Nothing.

He wasn’t listening.

No—he was listening. He just didn’t care.

Not right now.

By the time you reached the suite, you were gasping, your wrist throbbing, your legs weak. He shoved open the door, hauling you inside with enough force that you tripped face first onto the polished floor.

You turned to him, tears streaming down your face. “Why are you doing this?”

In-ho didn’t answer.

Instead, he dragged you down the hallway, not waiting for you to get up, past the bedroom, past the sitting area, toward a door you had never seen open before.

He unlocked it, shoved it open, and without hesitation, threw you inside.

You crashed forward, rolling over the floor until you heard the door slam behind you. A sharp click followed.

Locked.

Your breath hitched as you turned back, banging your fists against the door. “In-ho! Open the door!”

Silence.

You could hear his breathing on the other side, could imagine him standing there, unmoving, unmoved.

“You don’t get to run from me,” he finally said, voice quiet but firm. “Not anymore.”

Your throat tightened. “I hate you,” you whispered.

A pause.

Then, just before his footsteps faded—

“That’s fine. As long as you’re still here.”

And then, he was gone.

✧˚ · .

The room was cold.

Not just in temperature, but in its very essence—empty, lifeless, void of anything except the dull ache radiating from your wrist. You sat curled in the corner, knees pulled to your chest, your good hand clutching your throbbing wrist, the one that In-ho had so forcefully gripped, against your body. Every pulse of pain sent a fresh wave of nausea through you.

It felt broken. Or at the very least, badly sprained.

You had tried to ignore it at first, tried to breathe through the sharp stabs of discomfort. But the longer you sat there, the more unbearable it became. The cold didn’t help either. The floor was like ice beneath you, and without a blanket or anything to shield yourself, the chill seeped into your bones, making your entire body feel stiff.

You didn’t know how much time had passed when the door finally opened.

A guard stepped in, face unreadable beneath the black mask. He carried a tray of food—if you could even call it that. The same stale, tasteless meal they fed the players during the games. A slab of dry bread, some watery soup, and a plastic fork.

The guard placed the tray down in front of you without a word.

Your stomach clenched. You hadn’t eaten in hours, maybe longer. Hunger gnawed at you, but as you reached out, a sharp pain shot through your wrist. You hissed, drawing your arm back instinctively.

The guard said nothing. Just stood there, watching.

You tried again, using your good hand to grab the fork, but it was awkward, unsteady. The fork slipped from your fingers, clattering against the tray. You clenched your jaw, frustration bubbling in your chest.

The guard didn’t react. Didn’t offer help. Just turned and left, locking the door behind him.

Outside, in the dimly lit hall, he found In-ho waiting. The Front Man stood still, hands clasped behind his back, his mask now back in place.

“How is she?”

The guard hesitated before answering. “She didn’t eat, sir.”

In-ho’s head tilted slightly. “Why?”

“She… struggled to pick up the fork. I believe her wrist may be injured.”

Silence stretched between them.

Then, after a long pause, In-ho spoke.

“Leave it to me.”

tag list: @androgynous-lady @avsarchivez @squidgame-lover001 @plague-cure @skibidirizzzlerrrr @slytherinbackintomyroom @lazybum0

[thesiltverses]

How do you do podcasts, beyond the writing stage? The Silt Verses inspired me to try writing audio drama, and I have ideas, but I am only one person and all I can do yet is write. How do you get published, so to speak? How many people do you have to involve at a minimum (beyond VAs)? How do you find those people?

Let me try and tackle this in increments!

#1: With the right story format, you actually don't have to involve anyone else, so don't feel like you're missing some vital component. You don't need anything but yourself to get started.

An intimidating number of the most successful audiodramas ever made are either single-performer or begin that way before expanding to accommodate guests, and that includes both narration format and action-driven shows (WTNV, Old Gods, Knifepoint Horror, Malevolent...). With a lot of these shows, the writer is taking on performing duties despite a lack of formal voice acting experience or training, and acting as the sole producer into the bargain. Sometimes the ambient soundtrack for these shows is very basic and homespun - as it was for us with I Am In Eskew - or sometimes a sound designer has been paid for a higher-quality track that can play out during an episode, but there's no ongoing sound design work required.

Beyond that, the number of roles will entirely depend on your ambitions and your workload (and again, you can take on as many of these roles as you want to and have time for). If you're working with actors, someone needs to direct them and effectively manage the recording schedule, and someone needs to review and edit their takes. If you want action, someone needs to design that action. Plan to your needs, not anybody else's team size. You can always scale upwards as you go.

#2: How do you find collaborators beyond VAs? This can definitely be hard. But you could start at the Audio Drama Hub on Facebook, or advertise on the Fiction Podcast Weekly newsletter, or I just saw the Audio Drama Creators Discord mentioned on the audiodrama reddit (which is also a very helpful resource). If you have local networks - whether it's a university/college drama society or a citywide actors' page - that can be worth seeking out as well. I'm sure there'll be tons more so gonna drop in the audiodrama tag in the hope that we can get you more ideas.

My word of caution would be - I recommend putting a considerable amount of work into both the writing and the initial production plans before you start seeking other people out, particularly if you're operating on low or zero budget. Writing is a more popular pursuit than production, generally speaking, and I feel like over the years I've seen a lot of "looking for a director/producer/sound designer to help me create a show!" requests from someone who's got a largely unwritten idea and a lot of initial excitement fuelling them - when of course internet strangers largely aren't going to want to commit their time and energy to a project until they have some real tangibles and specifics.

#3: There's absolutely no bar to getting published, per se (other than paying for a hosting platform). If you're thinking of an arrangement where you submit your scripts to an already-formed production team, unfortunately that's something that doesn't reliably exist as far as I'm aware! Much better to do it yourself, generally speaking.

Hope that helps and best of luck!

[sourbinnie]

☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

a/n -> BEFORE YOU READ ; if you're expecting an angsty ending, this is not gonna please you but if you expected everything to be happy and good in the end, this isn't for you either. i really did try to write a part where they fully make up and i couldn't do it. i don't even if it's my angsty side kicking in or if it's just instinct where i just don't find it possible for that to happen. i also didn't feel like giving in and making it sad as hell because i got requested to do something happy and i'm sorry if i disappointed that person. i literally couldn't do it:( and i'm really sad with myself about this one, i would say this is a neutral ending and i'm gonna leave it at that.

first part -> hyung line

chan ✉

waking up with no chan next to you was rare. your birthday was gone now but not your feelings and that sucked because that meant you would have to talk to chan about what happened. you didn't feel bad about not explaining it to him, you kinda hoped he already realized his mistake but even if he did it wouldn't change the course of things right now.

as you got up and walked to your living room, you saw the never ending pile of gifts. the flowers, the cake, the different things the boys got you and of course your boyfriend chan. he looked tired as hell, bags under his eyes and just overall the energy he usually had wasn't there. he looked at you and sighed when he saw the the reddish eyes from crying but he still had hope in him.

"you know getting me stuff won't make me forgive you that easily channie." you said and chan nodded as he heard your words. he wasn't doing this to earn your forgiveness, he knew he didn't deserve that in the end. but he still wanted you to have a birthday, even if the day had gone by, you deserved a celebration and he would leave if you asked him to because he just respected you that much.

"this isn't for you to forgive me even if i am so fucking sorry. this is because you deserved a good day yesterday and because your boyfriend's an idiot, he ruined that." he muttered and it was your time to nod as you listened to him. there was no easy way to forgive him really because what he did hurt you so deeply and this was beyond just forgetting.

"why did you do that chan? i mean i don't really expect you to always remember my birthday but i wasn't expecting to find out that you spend it with someone who deeply hates me." you explained and felt like you were going to cry again thinking about it. it wasn't fair to you and chan knew better than that, he didn't want to push it but he did want to fix things. losing you was not in his mind right now, he needed to make things right.

"when soohee called me yesterday i left without a comment because i truly was worried that something happened to her. it turned out she broke up with her boyfriend and whatever, begged me to stay with her and everything just went by so fucking fast. i didn't notice anything and i just-." he had to cut himself off because he knew he was rambling and he was desperate to make things okay but he was feeling so broken. thinking about you being all alone and waiting for him to come back was probably gonna haunt him and that made the tears build up in his eyes. "i know i don't deserve it (y/n) but please let me make it right."

you looked at him as you took in everything. you wanted to believe him because you knew chan and you knew how kind hearted he was when it came to his friends. you saw how he realized that soohee wasn't who he thought she was and it's hard losing a friend, you hated that this was all happening and felt absolutely betrayed but you were not heartless and chan crying always made you feel the worst way.

"channie, i don't know if i'm gonna be able to forgive you right now. but i would really like to spend the day with you because i missed you so much yesterday." you said and he could feel himself crying more but understanding. he was so scared that this was gonna be the end but he was given another chance. you got close to him and as soon as you were next to him, he wrapped his arms around you.

"i'll make it right, i promise." he mumbled through tears and you really hoped he would. drying the tears from his face with your thumb as you gave him a little kiss on the lips and he smiled again. it wasn't quite alright yet but the wound would heal eventually.

minho ✉

you knew it wasn't gonna be easy to go through the night all by yourself. of course you had your friends there but usually having minho by your side made things easier. jisung stayed by your side, disappointed in his friend and sad to witness the falling out but he was rooting for him to show up and make things right. the night was still young and he had been texting minho to come over even if you told him not to. jisung knew better though, he could read you and your eyes were always at the door.

when minho arrived at the place, he sighed deeply and prayed that he could fix this. the boys greeted him but jisung had a look on his face of "make this right" and it was scary. he wasn't the type to be afraid but if he did lose you today, that would be his biggest fear coming true and he didn't know what he would do without you.

he saw you looking as beautiful as ever out on the balcony. he had you all alone, he needed to talk and he needed to choose his words carefully before thinking of the worst.

"minho? i told you not to show up." you said but you didn't sound confident in your words. he could tell there was a mix of anger and sadness in your tone and it was all because of him, this wasn't going to be easy.

"i could not miss my partner's birthday even if i screwed up everything." he said and looked at you. you weren't even looking in his direction but he was captured by your beauty every time he glanced at you and it was beyond your outfit and how you did your hair. he got so lucky with you and knowing that this could be the last night he saw you would kill him slowly. "i can't lose you (y/n) and i know everything's beyond wrong right now but i just need you."

"i didn't feel bad that you forgot or even that you were with her of all people. but you lied to me and we've never had an instance where i felt like things were beyond repair but right now i just don't know what to say minho." you said and you didn't want to cry right now but it was all too much. he felt like crying himself as he saw those spill from your eyes because like you said, there wasn't a situation that you lived before where you guys wouldn't make up and he felt you slipping away from him.

"don't say that, i don't deserve you and i should've remembered in the first place. i choose someone who doesn't understand that i met the love of my life already and that i'm not gonna give up on them. i won't put you second ever again (y/n) and i know you probably won't believe me right now but i truly do mean it." he said confidently and you looked at him, meeting his honest eyes. "i lied i know and i thought i was making things better by keeping soohee away from everyone. i cut her off and i know i should've done it sooner."

you took his hand in yours as you looked down. he knew you did this when you were nervous, when you needed to hold or do something to distract you so he just let you. 

"i can't forgive you even if i want to because all i wanted was for you to show up and explain yourself." you said and it warmed his heart. even if he let you down, you always believed in him and will always wait for him. "minho i love you, would you give me time?"

"all the time you need, i'll be here waiting for you as long as it takes." he responded and even if it hurt that things went so wrong, there was a glimpse of hope in the end. "i love you more (y/n)." he then said and you kissed his cheek as you headed inside. 

changbin ✉

waking up to someone yelling over the phone wasn't really what you had in mind. you went to the living room where all the noise was coming from and you saw changbin looking as tired as he could be. you really didn't expect for him to stay in your apartment and for him to be mad was rare. 

"changbin what's going on?" you asked genuinely concerned because even if all the events from yesterday were on your mind, you cared too much about him to not be there if he needed you. on the other hand, changbin couldn't take that you still were looking at him with caring eyes, he deserved to be yelled at and deserved to be kicked out.

"i'm cutting someone out of my life and they didn't make it easy. as soon as they started insulting you, i had to say some things that were not quite nice but i don't regret it." he responded and you could imagine who he was talking about. it still surprised you that he did that because even if you hated her, you knew that changbin in the end cared about her but from how angry he was you could see there was no going back.

"you didn't have to do that changbin." you muttered and he was so sad to hear that, not because of soohee and cutting off their "friendship" but because you genuinely thought he shouldn't have defended you. "i mean it's not like you didn't go there yesterday and spent all day with her when she needed you."

"stop that right now. first of all, i know what i did and i'm always gonna be fucking sorry about not being here with you, celebrating your day and choosing someone who clearly wanted this to happen all along." changbin said and you were glad he was now finally realizing but you also felt like it was too late. "but i'm not gonna hear you say that you don't want me to defend you because i'm always gonna be choosing you even if you want me to go right now, you will always be the one for me. i'm genuinely serious (y/n), i don't want soohee and i'm never gonna want her because i am in love with you."

"and i'm always gonna be in love with you but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt me." you said and he nodded now getting what you meant and how you felt. there might no be going back from this one and he just wanted to disappear right then and there. 

"tell me what i can do to fix this. i'll do anything you want me to because i swear i can't live without you." he begged basically and you could hear his voice getting higher pitched. it wasn't common for him to cry and if you saw him cry, you would end up crying as well.

"binnie i don't know. this is not the end and i don't want you to leave, can we pretend for a while that yesterday didn't happen?" you said and he looks at you. his eyes filled with tears but he still finds the strength to hold on to you and give you a hug. you felt like you needed to be in his arms, maybe even more so yesterday than today but right now is all you have and your birthday is long gone.

"i will make it up to you, i swear i will." he whispered as he kissed your forehead. you let the tears go, staining his shirt but he didn't care as long as he had you in his arms where you belonged. 

hyunjin ✉

to your dismay and your surprise at the same time, he was knocking at your door an hour later. you knew it was him, he had been spamming your phone ever since you left the building but you couldn't even respond from how disappointed you were. even now you were doubting if you should open the door or leave him knocking all night but you couldn't do that without a neighbor complaining so you decided to head to the entrance and open the door.

"i told you not to come. go back to soohee or whatever you had in mind for today." you said and you wanted to close the door again but he stopped you before you could do it. you looked as he walked into your apartment and took in his appearance. he looked like he almost ripped his hair out and like he had been crying, so pretty much like you did right now.

"i don't even know where to start." he said pacing back and forth and as much as you wanted to hate him, you grabbed his hand and sat down with him before he kept spinning around your apartment. that action alone was enough to calm him down but the glare you were giving him was making him doubt himself all over again. "the only thing i have in mind right now is the fact that i don't want to lose you because i was so fucking stupid."

"you were and i truly don't know how you're gonna get out of this one jinnie. this is beyond it being my birthday just why? why didn't you pick up? why did you show up with her? why didn't you defend me? i feel so stupid." you expressed and the tears were rolling again but so were hyunjin's because he could not stand seeing you cry. you didn't have to feel stupid, he was the stupid one and the one that messed everything up on a special day.

"i didn't pick up because she kept telling me that it was an unknown number calling and hanged it up for me. i showed up with her because she told me she would help me pick up your present at the end of practice and i didn't defend you because i truly wasn't expecting her to say that. i thought she was my friend and i thought she cared about me but i had to kick her out as soon as i saw it all go down." he said in between tears and rambles. you didn't want him to justify himself or his actions but it was nice hearing his side even if you were still very much hurt by everything that happened. 

"hyunjin i always told you how i don't want to interfere in your friendships but she has always hated me and you put her first." you said and he nodded, he was already accepting defeat because he truly did fuck it up this time. you pushed the tears away because you didn't feel like crying anymore and yet they wouldn't stop. 

"i'll leave, you don't deserve to spend the rest of your birthday with someone who did you wrong." he said and even in all this pain, it still hurt when hyunjin didn't fight it anymore. there was a point in all the fights that you've had where he gave up because he could not take in your anger or your sadness, he just wanted to see you smile again. right now he felt like he was holding back what could be a good day for you because it was still your birthday after all and he didn't want to ruin it anymore.

"hyunjin, stay. i can't say that i'm past it yet but i just wanna be with you right now even after all that happened, i just don't see myself going out celebrating if it's not with you by my side." you said, giving him a little smile through all the tears. he got closer to you as he placed a kiss on your lips which you responded to, the most hurtful one you shared yet.

"i'll stay for as long as you want me to and i'll leave if you need me to." he whispered and you nodded because everything was hurting but his words would always find a way to your heart. his hand on your cheek as he caressed it slowly and you met for another kiss.

[kteezy997]

Beyond Business-part two//t.c.

Warnings: mention of deception, possibly toxic relationship, small argument

He was so close, leaning onto the table with his hands. You turned your head, your heart racing, thinking he’d do something crazy like kiss you. There’s no way he would do that, right?

You watched him look at the laptop screen for a few seconds, but it felt much longer before he spoke. “I think it’s time for a lunch break.” He stood up straight, “Ready?”

You were brought back to your senses, “Yeah, um, what do you want me to go get today?” you asked, pushing your chair back and standing up as well.

“Actually, I thought we’d go out somewhere.”

"Oh." you said, shrugging, "Alright."

............

The lunch wasn't really anything special, he just took you to a sandwich shop where you sat in a booth and finished eating within ten minutes. But it was abnormal, considering the two of you had never gone out to lunch, or any other meal together. Typically, he would have you go pick up food from somewhere, mostly to give you a mental break from the workday, or you would order food to be delivered to his place.

After returning to his house, you decided to break the ice on a topic that he was dreading: the Golden Globes.

"So, have you been thinking about the Globes? Do you have an acceptance speech ready?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna win." he slumped down in one of his comfy chairs in the living room.

"Timmy, you should have something prepared. I can help you write something."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I guess I should have something, just in case. That's your job for the rest of the day, write my speech." he smiled cheekily.

You giggled at his goofy face, "Okay, boss. You'll have to proofread so I don't leave anyone out on your thank you list. Should I mention Miss Jenner?” the last question was a bit of a joke. You didn't think Timmy would ever mention a significant other publicly, not even if he were married to someone for 10 years with children.

Timmy only rolled his eyes, “Yeah, no.” he said firmly, taking his phone out, looking at the screen.

“Are you guys…okay?” You knew this was a sensitive spot, but not sure exactly why.

“Yeah, we’re fine.” he said plainly. He did not want to talk about her.

You bit your lip, "Well, I will go get started on that speech, unless there's anything else you need me to work on?" you started to turn on your heel.

"No, nothing right now, y/n, thanks." he said to you, but kept his eyes on the phone.

You could not get your head around how nice he was being to you, not that he was ever particularly mean, except for the night before, but you were over that. But to actually thank you for just doing your job was not typical of him.

.........

Later on, evening hours were approaching, and it was nearly time for you to go home. You heard Timmy's footsteps trailing into the dining room. His phone was still in hand.

"She is wanting to text; I just don't have the energy tonight. Just keep her on the hook, make her think the relationship is secure." he said, attempting to hand the device over to you.

"Is the relationship not secure?" you asked, not sure if you should take the phone.

Tip-toeing around an answer, he shrugged, "Just say enough to make it so. You've done it for me before." he pointed out.

"I know...it just doesn't feel right. This is something you should be doing Timmy. What if she mentions something from a text that I sent, and you don't even know what she's talking about?"

"She won't. Don't worry about that, it's not that deep. Just send a few texts back and forth and it'll be done." his nonchalant attitude was a little unnerving.

You shook your head, "It just seems mean, like towards her. She is still just a girl, you know, I think she actually might like you, Timmy."

"It's not that serious, she knows that, but I need her to think that everything is fine."

"I don't want to lie for you anymore, Timmy."

"It's not lying." he insisted.

"It's not genuine. Even if you don't care about Kylie, she is still a person. She doesn't deserve to be deceived."

"I never said I didn't care."

"Well, you don't act like you do! What even is your relationship with her? You never say anything about her."

"You're my assistant, I don't have to talk about my love life with you." he gave you a dirty look.

You scoffed, "You have literally had me do your texting for you, and you want me to do it again! You are such a walking contradiction. I'm not doing it." You were extra firm in your last sentence.

"Whatever. I think it's about quitting time for you today anyway, y/n." he said, grabbing his phone back from you.

"Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you. But you have to admit that I'm right. That's not a way to treat someone. I shouldn't have done it before, but you're my boss and I guess at the time I just wanted to please you."

He nodded, taking a breath and a moment to reflect, "Yeah, well, I'm glad to have you to call me out on my bullshit." He then tapped your arm with his hand. "Okay, get out of here, kid."

You frowned, "Did you just call me 'kid'?"

"Yeah, what?" he frowned right back at you. The mood was lighter now.

"I'm only like a year and a half younger than you, old man, don't call me a kid." you joked, gathering up your things to leave. You liked the playful banter you and he shared sometimes.

"Fine, don't call me an ‘old man’ then." he chuckled. He followed you to the front door as you slung your purse over your shoulder.

“Well, goodnight, boss.” you said, facing him one last time after to opened the door.

He held the door, his arm resting above your head. “Okay, goodnight.” he smiled softly. “Drive safe.” he said simply, then leaned in to leave a peck on your cheek.

Your heart skipped a beat, you felt your cheeks flood pink immediately. The tiny spot that his lips had touched was inflamed. You didn’t know what else to do, so you stood there smiling like an idiot.

Timmy closed his eyes, shaking his head and pressing his lips together, “I’m sorry! I don’t know why I did that. I really don’t.” he was clearly embarrassed; he took about a half step backward. “Let’s just forget about that, okay?” he smiled innocently.

“Yeah, it’s okay.” you shrugged, putting your arms behind your back. “It didn’t bother me anyway.”

He grinned, “Good. See you tomorrow?”

“Yep, definitely. Don’t forget to read over that speech. You’re running out of time before the awards.”

He mock rolled his eyes, letting his head hang down in annoyance, not at you, but the awards. “Okay.” he whined.

“Bye Timmy.” you giggled, then walked out the door. You weren't sure why he was dreading the Golden Globes so badly.

January 7, 2025

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